Right now, the US is in a fair degree of turmoil. People are getting quite emotional. Anger and polarization are very evident. The “War on Terror” in the US is everywhere and nowhere, so far.
The 9/11 commission’s report has just been published and details a horror story of incompetence. It comes on top of a sense that whatever is going on in Iraq is a similar tale of ineptitude.
One of the big questions you hear a lot is, “Why do they hate us?” And this is not referring to Islamic fundamentalists, it is about the rest of the world.
There are basically two kinds of reactions that you see. One is of sadness, and the other is anger. Both are tinged with incomprehension. For a land obsessed with “self-improvement,” the land of the perfectly white teeth, the perfect abs, the perfect home, the prefect children, the perfect life…. For people who see their mission on earth is to share this perfection with the rest of the world…. And be hated for it!
When I see the discomfort that comes with this question, I am reminded of a beautiful Osho story, excerpted here from the book, Zarathustra: A God That Can Dance.
It is part of human psychology that you want to be a giver; you don’t want to be a receiver….
They may give you tremendous treasures, but you will never forgive them, because they are the givers and you are the receivers. You are a beggar. How can you forgive someone who has made you a beggar?
I have a friend who was born poor, but was adopted by one of the richest families in India. He is a very generous man – he has made all his relatives rich, comfortable. He goes on giving to friends, to relatives, even to strangers. But he confessed to me once, while traveling with me in the train: “I have always wanted to ask you something, but I could not gather courage to expose myself. I have given to all my relatives who were poor, and now they are rich people. I have given to my friends, I have given even to strangers who have asked; I have never said no to anybody – I have so much that I can go on giving. But they are all angry at me; they talk against me.”
I said, “It is very simple: have you ever allowed them to give something to you?”
He said, “I don’t need anything.”
I said, “That explains everything. But small things... for example, you can phone a friend to whom you have given money, a factory, and made a rich man, and say: ‘Just passing by your house I saw beautiful roses in your garden. Will you bring a few roses to me?’ And the friend’s attitude towards you will change.
“You are sick: you can phone somebody and say: ‘I am lying in bed, with a bad headache and fever, and a great desire has arisen in me for you, that you should be close to me. Just come here, hold my hand and sit by my side.’ That will be enough.
“You have many cars, but you could have told any of your relatives: ‘I need your car for one day.’ You don’t have to use it. Just keep it in the garage and by the evening return it. But your relative or your friend will think he can also give something to you. He is also needed.”
He said, “I will try, although I am very reluctant. I have made them whatsoever they are. Why should I ask anything? I have roses in my garden. I have my own cars, and their cars I have given to them; their houses I have given to them.”
I said, “It is up to you. It is your ego that is hurting them all ― that you are the giver, and they are always the receiver. If you want to change their attitude towards you, you have to become in some way a receiver. Let them enjoy for some moments the ego of giving.”
He tried, and next time when he met me, he said, "It works, it works miracles! I had never seen...those people are so happy with me. They are talking about my generosity. Now that I am taking things from them, I have become generous; otherwise they were always saying, ‘He is just an egoist; he has given to us not because we needed anything, he has given just to humiliate us!’”
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